Quotes roundup- fall 2008

John Remy has this gem on Mormons and profanity:

When it comes to my English-speaking Mormon friends, few things amaze me more than their aversion to the use of profanity.  Some will spend hours patiently defending systemic racial discrimination or a father’s attempt to slit his son’s throat in God’s name, but will recoil at the use of a common word for excrement.

Ernestine Rose:

It is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are
atheists and were religion not inculcated into their minds, they would
remain so.

Bart Simpson saying grace:

Dear God: We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.

Michel de Montaign:

Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.

Mark Twain:

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Jon Stewart:

Religion – it’s a powerful healing force in a world torn apart… by Religion.


Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Lewis Black:

Have you taken Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? No? Then you’re probably not in politics.

Oscar Wilde:

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.

Stephen F. Roberts:

I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why
you dismiss all the other gods you will understand why I dismiss yours.

James Branch Cabell:

There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.

Mark Twain:

Most people can’t bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are
they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

F. M. Knowles:

Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate.


Ethical people will do what is right, no matter what they are told.
Religious people will do what they are told, no matter what is right.

Steve Allen:

No actual tyrant known to history has ever been guilty of one-hundredth
of the crimes, massacres, and other atrocities attributed to the Deity
in the Bible.

Frank Zappa:

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.

Glenn Greenwald:

Virtually every prediction the President and his followers made about
this war has proven to be false, while virtually every prediction made
by war opponents has proven to be true.
The President and his
followers controlled every part of this war with an iron fist, ignoring
anything which their political opponents said and insisting on the
right to exert full-scale, undiluted control over it. And now it has

And it’s everyone’s fault except theirs.

Mark Twain:

Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.


Heres the history of our medicine.
“I have a sore throat.”
2000 BC : “Eat this root”
1200 AD : “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1500 AD : “That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir.”
1800 AD : “That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill.”
1900 AD : “That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic.”
2000 AD : “That antibiotic is artificial, Here, why don’t you eat this root.”

Benjamin Franklin

Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.

Thomas Paine:

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the
worst; every other species of tyranny is limited to the world we live
in; but this attempts to stride beyond the grave, and seeks to pursue
us into eternity.

Thomas Jefferson:

Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.

Thomas Jefferson:

I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world,
and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.
They are all alike, founded on fables and mythology.

Thomas Jefferson:

The clergy converted the simple teachings of Jesus into an engine for
enslaving mankind and adulterated by artificial constructions into a
contrivance to filch wealth and power to themselves…these clergy, in
fact, constitute the real Anti-Christ.”

Abraham Lincoln:

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion.
I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of
Christian dogma.

Dan Barker:

I did not lose my faith — I gave it up purposely. The motivation that
drove me into the ministry — to know and speak the truth — is the same
that drove me out.  I lost faith in faith

James Watt, Interior Secretary under Ronald Reagan:

We don’t have to protect the environment – the Second Coming is at hand.

Mikhail Bakunin:

People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern:
to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves,
for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.

Bill Maher:

On your watch, Mr. Bush, we’ve lost almost all of our allies,
the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers,
a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans
…So yes, God does speak to you,
and what he’s saying is, ‘Take a hint.’

Catherine Fahringer:

We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn’t been for the church dragging
science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake.

Edward R. Murrow:

A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.

Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect (1869-1959):

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

Ruth Hermence Green:

There was a time when religion ruled the world.
It is known as the dark ages.


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