confession time!

did you serve an LDS mission? did you break any rules? of course you did! over at MormonMatters.org there’s a discussion going on where returned missionaries are “confessing”. it’s really funny to read other people’s lists of broken rules, sins, and indulgences (it’s funny how many list “drinking cola” since that’s supposed to be so bad). my list is below, if you have comments to add, i’d like to read them here.

(mission area: Brasilia, Brazil 2000-2002)

just off the top of my head:

  • listened to unapproved “EFY” music and got interviewed by my mish. pres. for it (yeah, weird, huh.)
  • had pictures of a cute pop star (Sandy) under my name tag.
  • was seduced by 2 different women who would nurse and not cover up after removing the baby (one told me she was seducing me, the other i may have just been reading into “the body language” a little too much).
  • had a buddha statue on my desk for a while- felt weird/dark and took it down when a companion complained.
  • waded my feet in water in a river in the jungle (satan could have swept me away but i was lucky)
  • had sleepovers with another zl friend and we’d rent 5-6 movies and watch them all in one go. did this 2-3 times.
  • semi-porn billboards and posters were everywhere in brazil, and i would “notice them” just a few seconds too long.
  • lied to mish pres. about having “clean hands”. he left it unclear, so i just took it literally and said they were clean (with a “duh” look on my face- “c’mon, pres.”)
  • played nintendo at a member’s house, watched the news during lunch at the bishop’s house, went to domino’s on sunday with a member who forgot to cook us a meal (i gave her a guilt trip and recommended she take us to the new domino’s that had just opened).
  • towards the end of my mission i purchased whatever CD’s i felt like from the mall and listened to them while i went to sleep (it ended up being mostly enya).

and last but not least:

  • tricked a greenie brazilian missionary into praying to joseph smith- complete with candles and photographs!

fun times!

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4 thoughts on “confession time!

  1. semi-porn billboards and posters were everywhere in brazil, and i would “notice them” just a few seconds too long.

    They were everywhere in Hong Kong, too. Sometimes they were 30 stories tall. Here’s a prime example of a billboard that probably distracted dozens of missionaries.

    Oh, and one of my comps and I would go to Toys R Us and play X-Box on p-days.

  2. I read unapproved “the teaching of the prophet Joseph Smith”. Went to see Billy Jack in the movies, listened to Derek and the Dominos, lusted and so forth. But my second mission pres was super. He let us ride horses and all kinds of stuff and we had the highest baptising mission in the world. In fact my claim to fame is that i was a zl in the highest baptising area, in the highest baptising zone in the highest baptising mission in the world. High points included putting a horse in quick sand on the Gila River, speaking to 100 liberals in Arizona Universtity, and having a companion whose last name was beer. My mission pres said after i confessed about the big M, “Lets not discuss that anymore.. I want to hear more from you than that”. Pretty cool huh? That contrasts with a mission pres out here that said in conference that the reason his guys weren’t baptising was that 25% were beating off. Of course the real reason was that 75% were liers.

  3. sounds like fun, Steve-o (the x-box part- not the whole hong kong mission thing). j/k- i think hk would be amazing to visit.

    tim, i’ve never heard of billy jack ’til i just googled him now. looks like a chuck norris type character? my dad said he’d go to the movies too like it was no thang. my dad must have had the same second pres. as you, right? sounds like a good guy.

  4. j/k- i think hk would be amazing to visit.

    Yeah, HK was super fun, even as a missionary. Actually, I’m going back this summer for the first time since I finished my mission. I’m guessing that it’s going to be about 10 times better since I won’t feel guilty for watching TV on the buses or for not talking to the guy next to me on the subway.

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