Jack Bauer once downloaded the entire Internet onto his PDA.
Jack Bauer does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Jack Bauer goes killing.
When Jack Bauer sneezes, God blesses him.
Oil and Water don’t mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to.
When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says “You Win” and turns itself off again.
Jack Bauer tells Bob Barker when the price is right.
When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.