The Real Meanings of “Scientific Speak”

Written in publications – Meaning
It is believed
– At least I believe
It is generally believed – A few others believe this too
It has long been known – I did not go for the original citation
In my experience – Once
In case after case – Twice
In a series of cases – Three times
Preliminary experiments showed that – We hope that…
Several lines of evidence demonstrate that – It would fit nice to our stuff, if…
A definite trend is evident – These data have more or less no sense
While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions – The experiment did not work, anyway I hope it will be published
Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study – The other results do not make any sense
Typical results are shown in fig. 1 – This is the most impressive picture I have
Correct within an order of magnitude – Wrong
A statistically-oriented projection significance of these findings – A very wild guess
It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs – I do not understand it
After additional study by my colleagues – They do not understand it either
Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions – Mr. Blotz did the work, and Mrs. Adams explained the meaning to me.
The purpose of this study was – It emphasized later, that…
Our results confirm and extend previous conclusions that – We did not discover anything new
It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field – I quit

..anyone have more suggestions?  (Props to Bainite’s Blog for this!)

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