Here are some tips from a man named Glenn McDonald on how to have a successful marriage. I thought some of them were really good- even mandatory.
- Marriage is not the end of the search, it’s the beginning of all the searches that are more fun to do together. Your world is getting bigger today, not smaller! More history, more friends, more possibilities.
- Be the guardians of each other’s solitudes. Not only do you need to give each other space, you need to make each other space.
- No difficult conversations after 10pm. Not only is it harder to solve problems when you’re tired, but at least half the time being tired is the problem.
- The Dutch principle of Total Soccer means that any player can attack when there is an opportunity, and any player can defend when there is a need. In Total Marriage you only have two players, so this is even more important. Both of you should be able to do everything your team needs. You’ll have your preferences and strengths and habits, but if one of you goes down, the other one has to be able to cover.
- Wedding rings don’t really come with magic powers. You will learn how to take care of each other one insight at a time. And even when you’re not sure how, show up and you’ll think of something.
- Headphones; separate closets.
- If you aren’t already the world’s leading experts on each other, you will be soon. It is thus your responsibility to be not only the world’s biggest fans of each other’s best qualities, but also the world’s staunchest fans of each other’s weaknesses and flaws.
- No ultimatums. Ever.
- Travel. Surprise and challenge yourselves. It’s easier to have a world together if you have a world to compare it to, and part of the fun of getting to know each other is putting yourselves, together, in positions where neither of you know what you’re going to do yourself.
- Committing yourselves to one another is one of the most mature, responsible, focused decisions you can make. Balance it out by being immature, irresponsible and playful together as often as possible.
That’s it, any of you have one or two Golden Rules for successful marriages?? I’d be interested to know as yesterday was my TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!
I want to hear your suggestions. Mine is simply empathy. If I have empathy and understanding for my wife’s errors and she has empathy and understanding for mine, we should most likely have a great relationship. Usually if we fight, it is simply because we don’t understand why the other did what they did or we’re not understanding each other’s point of view. Gordon B. Hinckley said it best:
We all ought to try to get along in this world. […]There are far more important concepts that unite us than there are that divide us. We ought to be neighborly; we ought to be friendly; we ought to be tolerant; we ought to be helpful to one another. […]Misunderstanding comes of ignorance. When we understand people better, we appreciate them more. [Boston Globe interview, Aug. 14, 2000]
OK now it’s your turn for marriage tips…